Two weeks ago, I wrote an article about the challenges of reading social cues when we have ADHD. Today’s post takes that conversation in a different direction. A direction that’s equally important and equally challenging: networking when you're neurodivergent.

As an ADHD coach, I see it all the time: For many people with ADHD, the challenges don’t stop at focus, organization, or time management. One of the most overlooked and painful struggles lies in the challenge of finding meaningful social connections. Of course, not everyone faces the same difficulties. Some neurodivergent people are social butterflies, with great friendships and wonderful groups they belong to.

Test-taking anxiety is a common struggle for many students. When I was a professor, I saw it again and again: the fear in students’ eyes, the nervousness before an exam, the trembling of their voices when they had to give a presentation. Ultimately, I tried to eliminate as many tests as possible and had students do projects instead. Or I gave them a choice between several possible test modalities they could choose from.

As a mom of a son with AuDHD I know from personal experience that raising a neurodivergent child is a journey filled with love, growing, and challenges. There are endless lessons I have learnt – both about my child’s needs but also about myself and how I respond in certain situations.

What do we do if we’re stuck in a job that isn’t right for us? If we feel miserable day in and day out because we struggle at work and can’t figure out how to improve our performance? Do we look for a new job? And what if that new job turns out to be as hellish as the previous one, with us feeling constantly overwhelmed, frustrated or downright depressed?

In many of my workshops – and in my coaching practice –people with ADHD often tell me they’re burnt out. Functioning properly day-in, day-out can be a struggle when we never seem to get a break from all the daily stressors and challenges that keep coming our way. Since we’re constantly forced to fit into a world that was primarily designed by and for neurotypical people, it’s quite understandable that we feel drained, frustrated and exhausted.  

When you are in school, college or working a job, you often encounter tasks or projects that overwhelm you, especially when they are complex and stretch over a long time. You can feel like you are standing in front of a mountain with no idea how to scale it.

“I am so mad at my son,” said a mom at one of my ADHD self-help groups the other day. “He starts one hobby after another without ever staying with one for more than a few months. We have so much stuff in our house that he doesn’t use anymore – football helmets, inline skates, paint brushes, an easel and various instruments.

Many years ago, when I was as an exchange student in Copenhagen, Denmark, I met a number of Danes in my dorm who were a little older than the average student in my academic program in the US. I was curious and wanted to know what they had done before college - and received the same answer again and again: a gap year – or sometimes even two.