Your ADHD Support Team: Why It Can Take a Village to Get the Help You Need
“It takes a village to raise a child.” We’ve all heard that saying before. But here’s what I’ve learned: It also takes a village to live with ADHD. ADHD can be overwhelming. And while many of us try to power through on their own, the reality is that we need help, guidance, and support from others.
But here’s the catch: Many people feel reluctant to get the help they need because it can be incredibly hard to come by. Long waitlists for a diagnosis, months of searching for a therapist with availability, or no open spots in self-help groups.
I get it. I’ve struggled with the same challenges myself for years. It can feel draining, frustrating, and downright depressing. That’s why, at first, I thought I could use my extensive knowledge and training as an ADHD coach to help my neurodivergent son on my own. But after a few months of futile attempts, many meltdowns, and countless tantrums, I realized that getting my son the proper help and care he needs from outside sources was the way to go. And it made a world of a difference.
Thus, even if we don’t succeed at first, it’s so important to keep trying, to sometimes think outside the box, and to establish a team of people who can support you on your ADHD journey. You don’t need everyone on the list below, and you don’t need them all at once. The point is to find the right people for you. People who will give you guidance, structure, encouragement, and kindness.
Here are some of the people and resources who can make up your ADHD support network, and how they can help:
My doctor (or pediatrician)
Our first stop is often the family doctor or pediatrician. This is where we share our symptoms and our suspicion that we or our children might have ADHD. Of course, not every doctor has in-depth knowledge about neurodiversity or feels confident giving expert advice. But if we’ve educated ourselves a bit beforehand, we can usually tell fairly quickly whether this physician is the right fit for us. Some doctors are willing to listen, acknowledge what they don’t know, and even take the time to learn more. When that’s the case, they can become an important ally, someone who not only supports us but also prescribes the right medication or manages refills on a regular basis.
My psychiatrist
Finding the right psychiatrist can take time, but when we do, it can change everything. A good psychiatrist can explain what’s going on in our brain, not with judgment, but with science, which helps us let go of self-blame. They provide diagnoses and work with us to find the right medication for our individual needs. If side effects show up, they adjust the treatment or tweak the dosage until it feels right. Just like with a family doctor, though, trust is key. We need someone who truly has our best interests at heart, who listens carefully, takes our concerns seriously, and doesn’t just rush us out the door.
My therapist
Therapy can be another game-changer. For many of us, it’s not just about managing ADHD symptoms but also about dealing with the years of shame that pile up before we even know what is going on. A therapist can help us unpack why procrastination feels so paralyzing, why perfectionism might keep us from even starting, and why rejection hits us harder than most people. At times, it can be uncomfortable, but little by little, it can give us space to breathe.
My coach
Coaching is different from therapy. It is more hands-on, more “what do we do right now?” As a coach, I help set up individual systems that cater to people’s needs: external reminders, accountability check-ins, routines that don’t collapse after three days. Having someone celebrate the small wins, such as actually filing paperwork on time, can be surprisingly powerful and help us establish necessary routines and structures so that we can lead a less stressful life.
Support Groups
Support groups are one of the most comforting “village components” I and a lot my clients have found. Sitting in a room (or on Zoom) with people who “get it” without us having to explain ourselves? That can be a wonderful experience. In groups, we realize we are not alone when it comes to losing our keys three times a day or in starting 12 projects without finishing one. The laughter, the shared tips, the nods of recognition – it all can give us a sense of belonging we might not even know we are missing. Check out my support groups here – they might be exactly what you have been looking for!
Other health and well-being practitioners
Many of my clients don’t expect yoga or meditation to make much of a difference, but they do. Not in some magical “cured my ADHD” way, but in giving us a way to pause, notice our feelings, and not always react immediately. Therapeutic horseback riding sessions with my son have shown me the same thing: Connection, regulation, and calm are possible, even for my son’s incredibly busy brain.
Teachers, professors, and colleagues
For my son, having supportive teachers can make the difference between barely scraping by in school, or even failing a grade, and actually thriving. The same is true later in life with university professors or employers: Whether our struggles are met with understanding or dismissed can completely change our experience. A little flexibility or a willingness to let us show what we’re truly capable of goes a long way.
One client’s boss once told them, “I don’t care when you get it done, I just care that you do.” That simple trust can lift a huge weight of anxiety off our shoulders. At the same time, we do need to be cautious. Support and flexibility should never turn into labels of being “incapable” or “broken,” nor should it hold us back from being promoted or taken seriously.
Family and friends
And then, of course, there’s family and friends. They may not always understand every detail of ADHD, but their encouragement, patience, and unconditional love often keep us going when life feels overwhelming. They’ve seen us at our best and at our worst. They’re the ones who remind us to eat when we’re lost in hyperfocus, who help pick us up when we crash, and who love us even when we forget birthdays. Of course, their patience isn’t infinite, but their support helps us stay grounded.
That said, we also have to be careful about whom we open up to. Some family members or friends can be incredibly supportive, while others might outright reject our diagnosis or even make fun of our struggles. Those relationships can weigh us down, which is why it’s so important to choose wisely whom we let into our inner circle.
What I’ve learned
Building this “village” isn’t necessarily quick or easy. I can’t even count the times anymore, when I’ve cried out of frustration, felt hopeless when even waitlists were closed, or was so disappointed when the doctor I had been waiting to see for several months, wasn’t a good fit for us after all. But here’s the truth I keep coming back to: ADHD isn’t something you have to fight through alone. The right support doesn’t erase the struggles, but it makes them bearable.
Each person in our network adds a piece to the puzzle: one helps us calm our body, another helps us organize our time better, another helps us feel less alone. Together, they give us resilience we simply don’t have when we are trying to manage everything in isolation.
So, if you’re feeling like you’re drowning in it all, let me encourage you: keep reaching out, keep trying, keep building. Your “village” might look different than mine, and that’s okay. The important thing is to not give up. Because ADHD can be tough but with the right team beside you, it doesn’t have to be lonely.
If you need extra help and support, book a free discovery call today! We can figure it out together!
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