I've spent roughly 25 years living abroad, and languages have been a central part of my life for as long as I can remember. I've studied them, spoken them, struggled with them, and taught them as a university professor. These days, I also work with expats in Germany who are trying to learn German while navigating everything else that comes with building a life in another country. And one thing has always fascinated me: Being good at studying a language and being good at speaking it are not necessarily the same thing.

When I moved to Japan, I was thrilled. I was going to spend an entire year in a country I had never lived in before, improve my language skills, experience a different culture, and discover a completely new way of life. And I did love it. But there was something I hadn't expected: I was absolutely exhausted. For the first three or four months, I would come home at the end of the day feeling as though my brain had been working overtime. Even on days when I hadn't done anything particularly demanding. At first, I couldn't quite understand why.

When my family and I moved from the United States to Germany, I thought I knew what I was coming back to. After all, I was (and still am) German. Germany was still home. I had spent around 25 years living in the United States, but I knew the language, understood the culture, had family here, and had returned countless times over the years. This wasn't like moving to Japan or arriving in the US for the first time. I was going home. Or so I thought.